Loss

Loss never gets any easier, its just loses its sting. I feel like I have soaked in a sea of loss the last 7 years. I have definitely gained way more then I actually lost in the long run, but it doesn't make loss any less painful.

I have lost actual people to old age and illness, so many I can't count them all anymore. Wrinkled faces and bright eyes that have lived an entire lifetime and made me a small part of it. I have felt keenly the loss of them in my life and within the world.

I lost a marriage and won myself in the process. I feel the loss of the person I used to be and remember some things fondly, but never want to go back. It was a half life and I have been reborn as painful as rebirth is.

I have lost myself and found myself again. 

My children are no longer small anymore, they are all teens now, and I feel the loss of their childhood even if they do not.